Wow! More than another year has passed and I haven’t been blogging… All I can say to that is, “Whoops!”. I will aim to do better and have even set a goal to get another 12 posts (at a minimum) up this year. Stay tuned, and tune in for this one on follow up from my last.
So What Really Mattered? As it turns out, I finished “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck” just a couple of weeks after that last post. While it was no long ago, that book will forever be a reference point for me. I suppose the sarcastic side of me saw the title of the book and couldn’t let go but it was the progressive side that always wants to be better that stayed and read the whole book. In the end, exactly what I said after the first chapter stood the test of time. I needed to focus on what matters, stop caring about so many things I cannot control and just accept certain things for what they are when I cannot make a change that will better the situation for myself. This works!!!
Over the last year my stress levels, at least to me, have declined. Now when I am stressed it is much easier to know why, to vocalize why and to focus on changes that can make things better. For instance, Family, I am no longer stressed about what people in my family are doing. I used to be so stressed that someone was making a poor choice and I could help or I would see that they just needed a hand and I would offer but then they wouldn’t take me up on it and it would stress me out. Now, I still care for my family, all of them. I just know that I can only be there for them, help them with ideas on changes they can make and where appropriate offer to help them. I cannot make them come to me for help, listen to my suggestions or take me up on an offer. It is a lot different to feel good that you can help than to feel bad that they won’t let you.
The same has gone in my career. I recently had to leave a situation in which I knew I could help. I knew I could contribute on an entirely different level than I was and when I saw that my current role wasn’t what I needed for me to feel successful and the leaders of the company preferred I not contribute more I left to give myself some peace of mind. I cared a bit too much and I needed to take a step back. While today I know I want that position, maybe not at that company, but a position of leadership with the ability to make that level of contributions I can accept where I am and gather my thoughts, ideas and continue to grow my knowledge to be ready when the opportunity presents itself again. In the meantime, I am enjoying the work I do and always trying to learn more.
At home, this has made a great deal of my stress relieved. I do what I can within my limits with the time I have and always look to try to make things better. I have taken on more chores, I have taken care of the kids as much as I can and I have done what I could to continue to build my relationships with my children and my wife.
While I still have stress and I am still striving for a greater sense of success and purpose, I can be happy with where I am and eager to see where I go from here. Perhaps my “Why” will help with the next phase of this journey.