What do I want out of life? what are the characteristics of my ideal life?… This is a question I am being asked to complete as part of this unstoppable course that I have enrolled. I will tell you what, this question alone has caused so much reflection on my life I am not sure I could have ever anticipated that the pre-work (the work before the course) could have been so beneficial and I haven’t even started the course. but enough of that, back on topic…
My Ideal Life would include:
- Friends
- Dating my wife
- Playing Sports
- Playing with Technology
- Good Health
- Volunteering
- Becoming a Speaker
- Being a Mentor
- Family Man
- Have Purpose
First comes having a couple close Friends. As a kid this was my best friend, the person I flew out the door to play with and stayed up until I was forced in at night. In high school it was more “my partner in crime”. Not real crime but the friend I was always with. As an adult it was a guy I worked with. We hung out outside of work and our families ended up being good friends. Now of course I am married and she is a great friend but in an ideal life I would have that friend that we either shared my passion of tech or my passion of sports, neither of which my wife and I share. With that piece missing I feel like a part of me is just on hold for the time being.
Speaking of my wife, in an ideal life we would definitely date my wife more. I have very often felt that my wife and I give in to the old married couple syndrome of staying in or using our time alone to get practical things done. Over the last few years I have pictured taking her out to the theatre, going on road trips or just doing fun things again.
Another aspect of my ideal life would be playing sports. My desire here is to either join a couple more leagues or be playing for fun on weekends. At one point I was playing basketball, soccer and baseball, often with overlap and this was only a few years ago. Now I know I am getting old and I should “take it easy”. yeah right… If my body is going to self-destruct because I am doing something I love than so be it…
Now I already feel pretty good with where I am but I definitely believe that technology will be an important part of my ideal life. I need my play time and to enjoy the craft (programming) that I put so much time into.
Ideally I would have good health. Today I am thankful for every day I am able to wake up and do what I do. That being said, ideally I would love for the tinnitus to disappear, my hearing to come back, my shoulder to not be torn. These ailments are most definitely livable and I live with them every day but if we are talking ideals, let’s not leave these out. Correcting these means less headaches, migraines and most importantly to me more innings pitched.
Now in my ideal life I would continue to have opportunities to volunteer. Today I am a baseball/softball coach, equipment director and a member of the little league. I would love to continue this and find other opportunities where my skills can help.
Along with giving back, I would love to become a speaker at conferences and different types of events. Today my career is all about teaching and speaking in front of people. I would like to continue this and find more opportunities to speak at events like CodeMash, StirTrek, possibly user groups and especially Hour of Code events at schools. I would even love to someday speak at a graduation and talk to graduating seniors and share my experience and advice with them.
To the extent of giving back I would always want to be a Mentor and be mentored. Whether this is being a mentor for programming, leadership, or sports I love working with anyone who want to learn. It is nice to sit one on one with someone and not only be able to help them succeed to the next goal but to learn so much from their journey and their chosen path.
Another characteristic is that I would want to be a Family Man. I focused too much on being successful by someone else’s definition of success and been distant from my family at times. Success is watching the your children grow up and have the opportunity to be successful in their own right. This all starts with being there for them and being a part of their lives. I can’t force a life on them but I want to be there to teach them right from wrong, how to be independent and how to be responsible. I am so proud of who my children have become at their current ages that I can’t wait to see their futures.
For my last characteristic and I think what really sums up everything I have here is to find purpose. I want to find my purpose and live for what I was meant to do on this earth. I have always felt a sense of imposter syndrome in many aspects of my life and in some cases it just doesn’t wear off that easy. In my ideal life I am going to become many things and find the purpose in my life and enjoy the ride.
“Life is a game, play for fun not to win!” This is a saying I live by and something that in my ideal life would be so true as each day needs to be filled with more fun the last.
Victor, thank you for divulging so much about yourself. I can really relate to many of the pieces that you articulate above, and am grateful for your perspective on how those pieces intertwine. I just had a baby 3 months ago and I’m very focused on thinking through how I want to balance all of these pieces to keep what I’ve always valued in terms of work and relationships, but then to add in all the rest that having a kid brings. I’m also grateful for the reminder that volunteering is not a “nice to do”. It was such a big part of my life for many years until I moved to Kentucky, and then I convinced myself that it was a reasonable thing to take off my agenda when it started getting full. You’ve motivated me to rethink that.